I’m currently in travel mode with my toddler. That in of itself is a very energy consuming task, but since going to therapy (for the loss of my dad) I’m not taking “mom exhaustion” for granted. Being tiered at times comes with the parenting job, but disproportionally affects woman.
Being exhausted should not be your status quo as a mom (or human being). I am more aware of the risks of exhaustion now as a parent and want to share how to overcome mom burnout.
If you are running on fumes on a daily basis, you are risking your physical and mental health. Lets look at some small steps you can take to lighten your load as a mom.
Identify Stressors To Overcome Mom Burnout
When thinking more holistically, I have a number of other stressors in my life that by their mere existence are draining from my cup and so do you! These stressors seem to continuously pop up in our adult lives, so be sure you are not taking on other people’s burdens on top of your own. Seeking help when coping is tough, but really important to overcome mom burnout. Don’t suffer in silence.
In my case, the last year has come with its handful of stressors:
- we moved to a new condo and need to fully figure out the finances,
- I’ve just started to rebuild one of my businesses from the pandemic
- trying to diversify our income streams and started this blog.
- in August of last year I lost my dad to post-operative complications
- the pandemic
Life felt tough and burnout was real. That is why I started speaking to a therapist again after many years and in my case it was a HUGE weight taken off my shoulders. Therapy is great, but like everything else it takes time and you have to be in the right mindset to benefit from it.
If you are in the thick of it right now, continue reading on how to dig yourself back up to the light of day, and start enjoying life again.
You might also be interested in:
- What Are The Qualities Of A Good Mother?
- Working Mom Guilt Quotes to Make you Smile
- Mom Burnout Symptoms to Look our for + Checklist
- 7 Tips to Overcome Working Mom Exhaustion
3 Steps To Overcome Mom Burnout
The first big step is acknowledging there’s a problem (yes just like with substance abuse). There is an endorphin release with stress and it can be good for us in moderation, but too much of it is dangerous. The reason it is difficult to stop certain behaviors that are contributing to your symptoms of mom burnout, is because they are so habitual.
Example of habits that lead to symptoms of mom burn out:
- Always offering your help / time.
- Wanting nothing less than perfection.
- Being people pleasers (YOU CAN SAY NO!!)
- Surrounding yourself with people who drain you.
- Never taking any time for yourself.
Change and healing only happens with awareness. Take some time to critically analyze your days in regard to what makes you feel exhausted and irritable. Don’t forget to identify actions during your day that fill your cup too and make sure to include those daily.
1. Identify the problem…
Let’s say that an aspect of your daily routine that exhausts you is when dinner ends up being so late there is never time to wind down afterwards. You’d like time to hang out with your kids and partner before rushing to bed time but it always ends up in chaos.
2. Figure out the WHY …
Often experiencing changes for the better means making difficult decisions. If dinner is always late and rushed because your partner’s arrival time is unreliable, it might mean that it’s time to eat without them and just heat a plate later. Maybe you decide on a day of the week when you eat together instead of every night.
3. Focus on one thing at a time…
Burnout is the cherry on the top of a mountain of small things that build up with time. There will not be one major swing that resolves your burnout. Instead, its small actions here and there that will set yourself up for success. Just like with the above dinner example, do that same type of analysis on other aspects of your life as well.
If You Don’t Know Where To Start, Do This:
If you feel overwhelmed by all the demands of life, start by taking 1 hour / day to yourself. Use this time to let your brain simmer down. It might feel stressful at first because it’s unfamiliar, you might also get push back from your family if they have been benefiting from your 24/7 presence.
Taking time for yourself has a beautiful trickle effect into the rest of your life. It is also the perfect time to start thinking about and writing down what areas of your day are leading you to burnout.
What Does Mom Burnout Feel Like?
I can only speak for myself here but imagine maybe these feelings are somewhat widespread. The symptoms of mom burnout are a mixture of both anxiety and depressive thoughts. Everything feels escalated and it’s like my nervous system is on overdrive.
Relaxing is hard because I keep on thinking of the tasks I want accomplished, yet my body wants to lay down because it needs rest. Usually getting a few hours to myself can take me back to a place of reasoning and rationale, but it’s not a place we should be going to on a regular basis.
When in a state of mom burnout, symptoms might present themselves as:
- inner voice sees everything negatively
- its hard to find something to look forward to
- activities that require some thoughts feel overwhelming
- daily tasks are set on autopilot
- your self care routine gets lost
- days of the week blend together
- losing contact with friends
- feeling irritable
==>Learn More About Symptoms of Burnout<==
Is It Normal To Always Feel Tiered As A Mom?
I think it is very normal to always feel tiered as a mom, but I don’t agree that it is everyone’s status quo. Being a parent is hard, but the rewards that come from raising children make it all worth it. Your well-being can co-exist with that your little ones. Make today the day you start taking care of yourself.
Start your self care journey here:
- 9 Self Care Tips From Moms (Who Blog)
- 7 FREE Self Care Ideas for a Bad Day
- 7 Tips to Overcome Working Mom Exhaustion
If you are suffering from exhaustion and want to overcome mom burnout, it is time to reach out for help. Be patient as it takes consistency to change habits that created burnout.
I read this very smart comment once that really resonated with me. This therapist said: “it is normal to get push back from others when you start nurturing your own self care. It can feel difficult and wrong at the moment but does not mean you should stop”.
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