Motherhood is hard and usually our harshest critics is society. Namely, those who don’t have children, or had children in a previous generation. A generation that did not exhibit the same challenges as today (but had their own of course).
It’s easy to judge that mom who allows screens every day, when growing up at a time when everyone had to share a single TV at home. Or look down at the mom who feeds her child sugary snacks, when she is just trying to survive juggling 21st century expectations of being a mom and often also working.
I mean, the list goes on over what moms do wrong. But maybe it’s time to focus on what moms are doing right. Lets take a cup is half-way full approach and celebrate the power of motherhood in all it’s imperfections. So what are the qualities of a good mother in today’s world? Well I would argue it’s not what the child-less/ past generation people consider a good mother. That image is often one of unrealistic proportions, so let those haters be and focus on you.
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What Is The Role Of A Mother?
Woman today do many things. In the United States it’s been heavily documented that woman often carry the mental load of the household. Unfortunately what that also means is that they are often over-worked and close to burnout.
The household is not what matters in motherhood (in my opinion). If you put the household aside, the real role of a mother at its core, is to love her children. Plain and simple.
The role of being a mother is only one part of a woman’s life. Loving their children is an important aspect of motherhood, but there are other important values in a woman’s life outside of being a mom.
My biggest fear as a mom is to somehow “damage” my kids emotionally. I am worried that something I do or say will unintentionally give my child some type of complex that will affect their quality of life in adulthood.
Do you have a parenting fear?
Everyone sees their role in motherhood through a different lens based on life experiences. For me, my role as a mother is to educate myself as much as possible. I want to set up our son to be emotionally intelligent and confident in his abilities to tackle obstacles that come his way. My role as mother is for my son to one day feel like he can do things on his own.
==> 9 Parenting Tips For New Moms – 1st Year<==
20 Qualities Of A Good Mother
Disclaimer: No one embodies all of the below qualities at all times. The point here is not to make anyone feel inadequate based on a lack of qualities. This list is my personal opinion. It’s meant as way to gauge which areas someone might feel strong in or vice versa. It can give you a road map to work towards the type of mom you want to be.
I’d recommend making your own list of qualities that you consider being positive attributes of a mother. Feel free to use this one below or simply reference it!
Last. Teaching your children the skills below is not a responsibility that solely fall on you as the mother. Parenting should be a team effort when possible.
- Unconditional love.
- Treat’s their children’s feelings are valid and important.
- Says I am Sorry to her children when realizing she made a mistake.
- Teaches her children conflict resolution.
- Steps back to allow children to forge their own path.
- Helps with self-regulation.
- Praises effort instead of accomplishment.
- Practices “do as I do”, instead of “do as I say”.
- Role models healthy boundaries.
- Teaches self-worth.
- Questions herself before saying NO to something.
- Let’s children take risks.
- Let’s children fail.
- Let’s children be sad.
- Teaches her children healthy eating habits.
- Lets her children splurge sometimes.
- Is gentle and not violent.
- Has 1:1 time with her child.
- Has a sense of humor.
- Doesn’t freak out over little things.
Does A Good Mom Have To Be A Happy Mom
Life is a roller coaster and 24/7 happiness is an unrealistic expectation. Being happy all the time in front of your kids is not the goal. It sends the signal that one should not feel other emotions, such as sadness, anxiety or madness.
At the same time, if you are burnt out and irritable all the time, this will affect your closest relationships.
I think of the family as a microcosm of the world outside the walls of our house. Feeling all the emotions can be scary, but learning how to deal with these emotion in the safety of our home is an important step.
Telling your child you need 10 minutes because to calm down models self regulation. If you had a bad day at work and consequently get irritated with your children, go back to them later and explain how your reaction was not nice and apologize. Showing your child that you are comfortable with being wrong and how to apologize sends such a powerful message to your little one’s.
See, it’s not about hiding the bad, but acknowledging it and finding healthy coping mechanism to move forward together. So no, you don’t need to be happy all the time in order to be a good mom. If you are unhappy most of the time, then it could mean you need some changes in your life. Self care can greatly improve the quality of your day.
==>Here are the steps I take to stay away from Mom Burn Out<==
What Is The Most Important Quality A Mother Should Have?
There is no ONE quality that defines motherhood, instead it’s a weaving of many smaller acts that build up to that role. If I were to find one phrase that represents a conglomerate of qualities, I’d say Strong Relationships. A mother’s most important quality is to form a strong relationship with her children.
This is not a commentary on being your child’s “best friend”. What I mean is that the role of your parenting should add up to forming a strong bond that reflects safety, trust and love. If you form a strong relationship with your child, that becomes the vessel in which you help them grow to be happy, productive members of society.
Take This One Step To Being A Better Mother Today
If you are wondering what the qualities are of a good mother, it’s one that continues to work on herself and forms strong relationships with her children. Society can sometimes be harsh, assuming the impossible on us, but narrow your focus and remember you are doing everything you can. Being on this post right now means that you are already a good mother!
Download these 60 positive things to say to your child to strengthen your relationship with them. You will also receive these super cute positive affirmation cards for children. Read them together every morning together to get a great start to your day!
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